Today, so much value is placed on having as many friends as possible. If you don’t have hundreds of Facebook friends or Twitter followers, you’re somehow lacking. Quantity is valued over quality. Having lots of connections is desirable. It hearkens back to wanting to be popular in middle/high school. It also seems to be very much part of the extrovert ideal.
I only have a few close friends. But the ones that I do have are supportive and warm. They know when I want to talk and they know when I need space. They’re accommodating and dependable. They don’t drain me when I spend time with them. I love doing things with them. I’ve opened up to them and shared my insecurities and I’ve found acceptance in their eyes. I’m comfortable with them. I can be silly around them. They can make me laugh until my stomach hurts. They’ve seen my crazy side, they’ve seen my tears. They know my dreams and desires, my shortcomings and insecurities. They know when I need a hug. And I like to think that I do the same for them.
I enjoy spend time with other people too, but it always feel different. I can’t show them all of me, at least not yet. It takes a long time for me to trust someone enough to open up to them. I need to know they’re worthy of my trust.
I used to think that I needed to be friends with everyone. I wanted everyone to like me. But growing up, I realized that no matter what you do, not everyone is going to like you. And not everyone is going to be your friend. And I’m okay with that. That’s not to say that I’m not open to developing new friendships, because I always am. But at the same time, I’m not disappointed if things don’t work out. But when I call someone my friend, I really mean it.
What does friendship mean to you?