Social nights

people-2598902_1920I’ll be attending a potluck and games night with friends and family in less than two weeks. I’ve already committed to this. Plus I’ll be bringing two others who need a ride. So barring sickness, I’ll be there.

Now I’m not a huge fan of games nights to begin with. I find board games boring.Β They can be tolerable if played with the right group of people. But it’s more interesting to watch others play. Many people mistakenly believe that if you’re not in the middle of the action you aren’t having fun. So they will try to convince you to play because it’s “more fun that way”. Not for me it isn’t.

Unfortunately, I just found out that the game we’ll be playing is charades. I despise charades. Even the word itself dredges up bad memories and feelings. I remember my mind going blank and being unable to think of anything. Of people standing there, watching me, expecting me to do something. Of people taking pity on me and finally letting me sit down even though no one had guessed my phrase.

I’ve been dragged and coerced into charades games my entire life. “It will be fun” they’d say. And I used to go along with it. I’d play to “prove” I’m a fun person. Sometimes I’d play to get them to stop bugging me. But I’ve finally learned it’s okay to say no. Even if someone wants you to. Even if everyone wants you to. And I’ve got the stubbornness to pull it off. If someone tries to coerce me into joining, I’ll politely refuse.

I’m all for breaking out of my comfort zone. But I already know that by this point in the evening I’ll be very burned out. I won’t have the extra energy needed to engage in a high energy game of charades, even if I wanted to. Maybe I’ll bring my crochet with me instead.

What have you done in a similar situation?


20 thoughts on “Social nights

  1. VTNessa says:

    Board (aka bored) games= no.
    Charades= no.
    Crochet= YES!
    I’ll usually try to bring something such as crochet and let people know that I am working on it and trying to finish it by a certain date and so need to be working on that. It usually gives them a feeling of, “Oh, cool, she likes us enough to want to hang even though she is busy,” while also giving me an out. Timekeeper and referee are also great options, as mentioned above. Sometimes I will volunteer to keep the pet busy assuming there is one. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. pearlgirl says:

    I had a game night party this past New Year’s. One of the games they were planning to play brought the same sense of dread you’re expressing about charades (totally agree, terrible game, btw). I had a breakdown with my husband for about an hour before we left over it (not the best option), and felt like I couldn’t opt out because the one planning it had talked for weeks about how fun it was and how great I’d be at it.

    I ended up bringing games of my own that I knew I could enjoy and thankfully we didn’t end up playing the game that was originally planned. I actually had a really good time and was glad I went and participated, but I know the evening could have gone very differently.

    I really admire your resolve to hold to your boundaries and what you’re comfortable with. I still give into pressure far too often, I’m very slowly learning, and it sounds like you’re going into this as well prepared as possible. Crochet is an awesome alternative! It’s completely okay to say “no thank you” to something you don’t want to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      I’m so glad the party went far better than expected. I completely relate. I pretty much panicked when I first heard that charades was going to be played. Cue flashbacks, my heart pounding, and anxiety rising. I like your idea, I think I’ll bring one of my own games along with my crochet. Thank you for the reminder that saying no is a perfectly valid option, I need to hear that more often πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      So true, social events definitely exhaust me. I’m hoping people will respect the fact that I’m not going to participate in the game. But we’ll see πŸ™‚


  3. Britta says:

    I enjoy charades, but I also enjoy being in front of groups (hence, why I enjoy being a teacher). It’s not an activity be I want to do all the times, but I’d to it every now and then. I agree with you on board games, though. OMG they’re boring. I don’t have the attention span for them. My college friends are really into games and they do have some fun ones there I enjoy playing, but they’re the only current group of people in my life that I’d willingly sit down and play with without grumbling a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      That’s awesome, I’m glad charades are a positive thing for you πŸ™‚ I don’t mind public speaking but I need time to mentally prepare. With things like charades you have to come up with ideas on the fly and my mind goes blank haha. If you find some fun games, let me know, I’m always on the lookout for ideas πŸ˜‰


      • Britta says:

        Public speaking is definitely something I’ve gotten better at. As a teacher, I’m hopeless going into a classroom without a lesson plan, but I feel more confident than I used to going into classes without having what I’m going to say mapped out. I find it interesting to see how INFJs differ across the board… a reminder to me that MBTI is a guideline, not a lifeline!

        One of my favorite games is called Gubs. It’s a card game where you have to collect Gubs, these cute little creatures created for the game. I’ve also always enjoyed Forbidden Desert and Forbidden Island when I play them with my friends (these are two different games with similar concepts).

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ally says:

          I agree, public speaking is definitely a skill that improves with practice. Thank you for the game ideas, I’ll have to look them up, they seem intriguing πŸ™‚


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