I’m a fairly easygoing person. It takes a lot to upset me and I try to give others the benefit of the doubt. However, there are a few things that irritate me. This is a follow up post to 6 things you should never tell an introvert. These are not all introvert-specific problems, but are things I’ve experienced recently.
1. Come out of your shell.
This often comes from those who don’t recognize that everyone is unique. Rather than respecting the fact that others function differently in social situations, they assume their way is best. A quiet person has just as much to offer. Sincere questions, active listening, positive and encouraging attention, and open body language is far more likely to show a quiet person their opinion is valued. Telling someone to come out of their shell is a surefire way of shutting down any desire to speak with you further.
2. You look really tired.
Uh, thanks. I’m already aware that I’m tired. It isn’t something I didn’t notice when I got up this morning. I was just hoping a layer of concealer would hide the worst of the damage, but I guess I was wrong. Thanks for pointing out that I look awful, I really appreciate it.
3. Are you seeing anyone?
As a single in my 20’s, I get this one a lot. Usually from well-meaning ladies curious about my relationship status. I’ll usually joke around and pretend it doesn’t bother me, but it ticks me off. There’s this prevalent idea in society that being in a relationship is the ultimate goal in life. Do I eventually want this for myself? Yes. But being single has been one of the most incredible learning experiences and I’ve grown so much as an individual. I wouldn’t trade that growth for anything.
4. You need to speak up.
Let’s turn the tables for a moment. Perhaps the reason you can’t hear me is because you’re not listening properly. My normal speaking voice is quite easy to hear (unless I’m in a noisy room or speaking with someone hard of hearing). If you’re truly interested in what I have to say, you’ll pay attention. Otherwise, we can end this conversation right here.
These kinds of comments can be a real downer when they pop up in conversations. But I try to approach them with humour. In a lot of cases, people don’t even realize that what they’re saying is problematic. Learning to shrug things off is something I’ve been working on recently, hence this tongue in cheek post 😉
Do you have anything to add?