Reflections on decision making

3773719117_96412617a5_zI think before I speak, a trait common to many introverts. Although I may come across as passive, simply because I’m quiet and take time to think, nothing could be further from the truth. I have strong passions, very strong opinions, and no problem making decisions. I credit this to my parents who taught me to make a decision and stick with it.

Similarly, although I prefer to be an observer, if there isn’t a clear leader in charge, I’m willing to step up. However, if you place me in that position (due to your own indecision) please respect my choices. Now I’m referring mostly to silly things like ‘where shall we eat lunch’ but it can apply in other areas as well.

I have a friend who constantly challenges this and I’m not entirely sure why. For example, we’ll typically get together for lunch. They’ll tell me to pick a place. When I ask if they have a preference, they say they don’t. I’ll find a place that has gluten-free options (so I can eat) but is something I know they’ll enjoy. I’ll tell them the place and specify a location that’s close to both of us. They’ll agree and we’ll set a date and time.

Inevitably, a few hours before we’re scheduled to meet, I’ll get a text message suggesting a new restaurant instead. Had they suggested this when I originally asked for feedback, I would have been happy to accommodate them. But if you aren’t going to respect my decision, why give me the choice to begin with?

I consider a lot of things before making a decision, but once the decision is made, I stick to it (while still trying to be flexible if something unexpected happens). I want to be known as a person of my word.

What kind of a decision maker are you?

Image credit: “Path” by bartb_pt is licensed under CC by 2.0



10 thoughts on “Reflections on decision making

  1. Bart Leahy says:

    I don’t know your friend, but that changing-after-the-discussion thing seems less like indecisiveness and more like passive-aggressiveness to me. Without using those exact words, I’d ask your friend why they don’t just say what they want in the first place, especially since you seem to be a very easygoing person.


    Liked by 2 people

    • Ally says:

      That’s a really good point and one I hadn’t really considered. If it happens again, and it likely will, I’ll ask them about it (tactfully). Thank you for the insight, I really appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Salvageable says:

    I occasionally have dreams in which I am standing in a fast-food restaurant, staring at the menu, unable to choose what to order, and feeling panicked and distraught over my indecision. In reality, I usually know what I am going to order before I enter the restaurant. I don’t know what my dreams signify. J.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      That’s really interesting, I wonder if it means anything. I’m the same when it comes to ordering food at a restaurant. I’ve usually decided what I want to order before I even arrive.


  3. Warrior Freya says:

    In group settings I like for there to be harmony, so as long as a decision doesn’t harm me, I normally don’t mind going with what the group wants. I’m more accommodating and flexible with my decisions if it feels like I’m heard when I do speak up and voice my opinion.

    If no one makes a clear decision then I normally take the role of leader. It’s not a role I seek out, and it’s not a role I abuse when I have it. I feel people avoid the leader / decision making position because if something doesn’t go well the leader is the one who takes the hit, and that’s not always a fun time. It has to be done, though, by someone. I’m not one for inaction, so if no one is going to be the driving force then I will be, and I’ll do the best I can because that’s all I can do.

    There was a really good scene in Mr. Robot, a show I watched this past week. In the scene there are two characters and they’re arguing over what should be done.
    Mr. Robot – “Are you a one or a zero? That’s the question you have to ask yourself. Are you a yes or a no? Are you going to act or not?”

    Elliot – “Yo… You’ve been staring at a computer screen way too long, homie. Life’s not that binary.”

    Mr. Robot – “Isn’t it? Sure, there are grays… but when you come right down to it, at its core, beneath every choice, there’s either a one or a zero. You either do something or you don’t.”

    I’m a one. I’m action. When you boil everything down, I will make a decision and act in accordance with that decision.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      I completely agree with you. My actions are very similar to your own and I appreciate your insight and perspective.

      I used to shy away from leadership positions but would end up frustrated when nothing was being done. So I started planning things and stepping in as leader when no one else wanted the task. At first it was scary. Even now, not everything works out every time and you shoulder part of the ‘blame’. But it’s a far better alternative to doing nothing. Really liked the discussion from Mr. Robot, it definitely rings true.

      There’s a quote from Theodore Roosevelt that I really like: “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” I think that sums it up pretty well 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi! I'm Keya says:

    Late reply, but I go through the same thing with my husband when it comes to eating out. You’re hungry but don’t know what you want, but don’t want what I suggest? Starve much? LOL! So we eat fast unhealthy food and that’s that lol.

    So do you ever tell your friend no, you’d rather stay with the place you picked?

    Liked by 1 person

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