12 introvert problems

Introvert probsI wanted to share a slightly humorous post about some problems introverts experience on a regular basis. They are likely more related to being an INFJ and HSP, as that’s where I fall in the spectrum, but if you do relate or have others to add, let me know!

  1. All those unwanted work conversations.
    There’s nothing like people talking to me every time they pass my desk. Or shouting questions at me from across the room, or musing aloud in my direction. If I’m at work, please just let me work.
  2. When the phone rings…
    …and all you want to do is throw it across the room. It doesn’t even have to be my phone that goes off. Even if a friend or family member is calling, I still don’t want to pick it up.
  3. When the conversation moves on before you think of something to say.
    It takes me a decent amount of time to process my thoughts. By the time I come up with a comment, the conversation has usually moved on, and my thought is no longer relevant. Then people ask me why I’m so quiet…
  4. Psyching yourself up to call someone.
    I always have to mentally prepare myself before making a phone call. I think about what I’m going to say if they pick up, if someone else picks up, or if it goes to voicemail. If its a work call, I’ll often write up a short outline so I don’t forget anything.
  5. Mandatory conversations in public.
    Having to engage in small talk with cashiers, waiters, baristas, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind when they say hi, that’s part of their job. But I don’t want someone asking questions about my vacation plans for 10 minutes while I’m trying to shop.
  6. Needing to shop but dreading it.
    There are times when I need to buy things: food, clothing staples, and necessities. However, I dread the bright fluorescent lights, headache-inducing cologne and perfume smells, and the masses of people. Do I really need those socks? Probably not.
  7. When people ask why you’re so quiet.
    I can be loud and outgoing when I have energy and I’m with people who energize me. But if I’m not talking, its likely because I don’t feel comfortable around you. Asking me why I’m quiet is another mark against you.
  8. People assuming that being quiet is all there is to our personality.
    You’ll find that any person you meet is a lot more complex than they appear. But for some reason, a lot of people assume that being quiet is my entire personality. Once I have a certain level of trust and comfort with someone, I’ll start sharing more. It’s worth the wait, I promise.
  9. Having more conversations in your head than you do in real life.
    I have this funny habit of working through potential conversations with others in my head. I’ll passionately defend my point of view, or explain how I see things. These almost never play out in real life, though I’m always prepared if the opportunity arises.
  10. Wanting to leave a social event as soon as you arrive.
    I like small gatherings with close friends. But there are times when I’m invited to bigger events, like weddings. Leaving really early seems rude, so I try to figure out how early I can leave without offending the host/hostess. I then mentally count down to departure time.
  11. People thinking you’re strange because you enjoy doing things by yourself.
    I’ve been in conversations where people have joked about how lame it is to go for coffee, or watch a movie by yourself. These are both things I enjoy doing. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea but that doesn’t make it wrong.
  12. Being a great one-on-one conversationalist. But if someone else joins, you stop talking.
    I’ve been able to hone the skill of creating and nurturing conversation over the years. If I’m speaking with one person, the conversation can flow easily between the two of us. I can even hold my own with talkative extroverts, as long as I have the energy. However, as soon as one more person enters our group, I stop talking.

Do you agree, disagree? Let me know 🙂

Image credit: “Untitled” by vic xia is licensed under CC by 2.0

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17 thoughts on “12 introvert problems

  1. twainwall says:

    I agree with a lot of these being an INTJ. 🙂 Answering the phone is the one I had to change; I used to run my own business for some time and I think I became quite immune to the phone on the work side of things so that wasn’t a problem, but personally I used to be really bad at getting back to close friends until I was shown an article that Sophia Dembling wrote on the Quiet website called “Introvert or Just Rude”, it sort of made me think a lot more of how the other person would feel, so now I try to make sure I at least get back to my friends the same day – I think it has made a big difference too!

    Nice post Ally. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      That’s awesome you conquered making/taking phone calls! I’m good with texting back quickly but definitely need to work on replying to emails sooner, it really does make a difference 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Warrior Freya says:

    Oh my gosh. So much #2. It extends to text messages and Facebook messages, too. I purposefully don’t open my phone sometimes even though I know someone has messaged me because I’m just not in the headspace to reply and if I don’t open the phone it doesn’t say that I’ve seen the messages. Just because I have a phone does not mean I’m reachable 24/7.

    Sometimes I have to use mind tricks to get through my to-do list, especially if it involves having to call or interact with people I don’t know / don’t want to talk to. Recently the reward has been “guilt free gaming time” since slaying evil candy corn minions in Guild Wars 2 is actually insanely addictive.

    One way I deal with #6 is to go first thing in the morning or later in the evening. If it’s a weekday then the times before or after lunch, before people are on break rushing around trying to get whatever it is taken care of. I guess that’s an upside to being an unemployed slacker… I know all the off hours now. : )

    So much #7, too. Like… every new person I’ve met ever. XD

    Totally guilty of #9.

    It’s almost a mandatory thing for me now to have a soft curfew when hanging out with me. I actually have a list of questions. Where is it? Who’s going to be there? When is it expected to end? Stuff like that. Armed with those questions I can figure out the energy I’ll most likely need to make through the event. If I end up being alright and want to stay longer, cool, no harm in that, but if I don’t then I at least have the light at the end of the tunnel to help me hold on.

    I still get weird looks from people sometimes because I go to my sports bar alone for lunch. What’s so wrong with enjoying your own company? #introvertProblems

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      That’s so true! Technology has made us accessible to others 24/7 even when its not necessary (which is most of the time). Love the idea of bribing yourself to get through the less pleasant tasks. I do that in order to motivate myself to go grocery shopping.

      Yes! I love shopping in the off hours whenever possible. I find that if I go late in the evening, its usually a lot quieter. I once made the mistake of going shopping on a Sunday afternoon, never again…

      I really love your list of questions and the idea of having a soft curfew. I’ll usually choose a reasonable time to leave by, and if I’m still enjoying myself and have energy, I’ll extend it and reassess later on. I’ll never be that person who stays until the end hahaha.

      I was travelling solo in Scotland and got so many strange looks because I was eating on my own. I literally didn’t have anyone to eat with, even if I had wanted to. Introvert problems indeed haha 🙂

      Like

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