Last night was interesting and not in a good way. I’ve been planning to run a Spartan race since September of last year. I even put together a team of five (myself included) for the event. A few weeks ago, one of my friends had to regretfully cancel, as he’s getting married the same weekend in another country. Completely understandable, no problem. That left our team at four people.
On Monday, I contacted everyone still interested in the race. I had received verbal confirmation from everyone in March, each expressing excitement. However, the time slot we wanted was filling up and we needed everyone to sign up ASAP, or risk losing our spot. Two of my friends didn’t reply to the voice mail or text I sent them, which was odd as both of them are constantly on their phones.
Neither had replied by Tuesday morning, so I sent a brief email to both outlining how important it was that we all sign up soon. It wasn’t until 6 pm that night that I got a really awkward email. Both my friends had been conferring back and forth via email and one of them forwarded me their conversation, stating that both of them were no longer interested. They gave no reason for their decision. Fortunately, my other friend is super excited to run the race, so I still have a partner in crime 🙂
I’m not the kind of person who normally plans events and activities. I feel very uncomfortable taking a leadership role. But this race is really important to me. So important that I took the initiative, figured out the logistics, and invited others to take part. Its a physical challenge that would have been impossible for me a couple of years ago due to health problems. To be at the point where I’m physically capable of conquering a Spartan Race truly shows how far I’ve come. To see those two casually toss away something so important to me was hard. But they’re the ones that lose out on an incredible experience.
I’m still processing a lot of different emotions right now. I feel betrayed because they were so excited, then dropped it casually without giving me the courtesy of a reason. There may be other things going on that I’m unaware of, so I don’t want to judge them too harshly, but the way things were handled was extremely unprofessional. I feel hurt, sadness, anger, confusion, and probably some other things I can’t articulate. I used to suppress all negative emotion and pretend I wasn’t affected by it. But that isn’t a healthy way to live and caused a lot of stress and issues. I’ve started accepting that feeling this way is okay. Its okay to not be okay all the time. Negative feelings are just as valid as positive ones.
Disappointment is an inevitable part of life, but I keep reminding myself that this too shall pass. I want to continue to be a kind, open, trusting person. I’m just starting to open up to others and I’m not going to lose this progress. I want to choose kindness, to give others the benefit of the doubt, and to grow as a person. So I’m going to keep moving forwards.
Have you had any similar experiences?