6 things you should never tell an introvert

LaughingWhen I first started blogging, I wrote a post titled ‘5 things you should never say or do‘. It was pretty fun to write, so I thought I’d follow up with a similar post. I wanted to share 6 things you should never tell an introvert. Sadly, I’ve lost count of how many times these things have been said to me. However, I’m finally at the point where I can brush these kinds of comments off. I hope you can see the humour in these as well.

1. Why are you always so serious?
You may find this hard to believe, but I’m not. I love having fun. However, my definition of fun differs from that of extroverts. Also, the reason you’ve never seen me having fun is probably because I’m not comfortable enough around you to let loose.

2. You need to be more outgoing.
Just because I don’t loudly introduce myself to everyone in the room doesn’t mean I lack social skills. I’ll do things at my own pace. I refuse to sacrifice my self-worth to conform to the way you think I should behave.

3. You over-think things too much.
Obviously you don’t think enough if you thought this was acceptable to say to me. Thinking and analyzing is a natural part of how my mind works. Its a subconscious process and not something that I can, or want to, change.

4. Asking ‘what’s wrong’ when we’re quiet.
I really appreciate that you’re concerned about how I’m feeling. However, my lack of speech doesn’t mean I’m sad or upset. I just don’t talk unless its necessary or I have something I want to share. Often, I simply have nothing to contribute to the conversation. In some cases, I’m bored. Please don’t take it personally.

5. Don’t be shy.
Trust me, I’m not. Being quiet doesn’t mean I’m shy. Shyness is fear of social situations. I enjoy socialization in small bites, as long as I have the energy. Its not okay to tell me to change myself because you don’t approve of something.

6. You’re never any fun.
You’re saying that you don’t accept me for who I am. This one cuts really deep. You’d prefer it if I acted like someone else. As introverts, it may take some time and trust, but you’ll find that we’re extremely interesting people. To be judged on one aspect of our character (our ‘fun-ness’) is very hurtful.

Do you have any other things you shouldn’t tell an introvert?

Image credit: “Laughing” by Liz is licensed under CC by 2.0

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45 thoughts on “6 things you should never tell an introvert

  1. learningtosmileandgrow says:

    This is my life–and, if I’m honest, sometimes I find myself saying these things to myself too–being an introvert is only a part of who I am, not all of it! And it’s definitely not a bad thing to be one 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ally says:

      Totally agree, it can be so frustrating when others don’t consider what we might be feeling or thinking. Most of the time, it doesn’t even cross their minds. I guess we get to learn a lot of patience haha 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. brittabottle says:

    I find that I say most of these things to myself on occasion…and when I think them, it ends up hurting more than when anyone else says thembecause it means I’m denying a crucial part of who I am. I am an introvert and am also highly sensitive, so I also get tired easily… But I also love to go out and have experiences and travel and see new things. It’s often hard for me to accept that I need my down time and, in fact, thrive on it. Self-acceptance is crucial, though, and as time goes on, I’m accepting and appreciating my needs more and more. Living in such an extroverted-oriented world can certainly be hard sometimes.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Ally says:

      Your comment really resonated with me. I’m also still working on gaining that self-acceptance. I want so badly to be involved in everything that’s going on. All the picnics, outings, events, and camping trips. But I know that if I do everything, I’ll end up drained, irritated, and not enjoying myself. Its so difficult to be true to ourselves when everything in society is telling you otherwise. I hope you’ll be able to keep on moving forward, I’ll be working on that too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • brittabottle says:

        Yes! I actually skipped out on New Years Eve festivities this year with friends in THAILAND because I was so exhausted and tired from traveling to our New Years Destination. My friends went out and partied the night away and I was in bed by 10:00…I just knew I would have been a kill joy had I went a long. I don’t regret it because I know I needed the rest…but at the same time, it would have been incredible to experience New Years like that in Thailand. I also know I must be making some strides, because a more immature and self-conscious me would have gone along regardless of how I was feeling, for fear of being judged and missing out. Good luck to both of us then, as we comtinue on our journeys. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. twainwall says:

    I couldn’t agree more with this. Sometimes I do wonder if some people take the time to think things through or look to see another persons point of view on something – hard thinking goes a long way. 🙂 Point number 6 I find quite irritating when a person tries to change who you are and trust is definitely a huge thing for me too, it takes a long time for me to let someone in and be totally candid with them.
    This is a great post Ally – really liked it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. I totally agree with you. A little hard thinking and change of perspective can make all the difference. Thanks so much for sharing your own perspective 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lisa Sell says:

    Thanks for sharing this. I’m finally learning that it’s okay and actually great to be an introvert. I don’t dislike extroverts. The world is a more colourful place because we have both extroverts and introverts. I think we have a lot to learn from each other. I’m just glad I’ve learnt I don’t need to be an extrovert to be liked. Being an introvert really helps as a writer too!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Ally says:

      I completely agree with you. Both introverts and extroverts have much to share with the world. We miss out on so much if we don’t embrace both introversion and extroversion. Thank you for commenting 🙂

      Like

    • Ally says:

      Its amazing how most introverts experience these kinds of comments on a regular basis. I’ve been hearing 3 and 4 a lot recently 😛 Thanks for commenting!

      Like

  5. Chronomatis says:

    I love your post. Everything you said was absolutely main problems that introverts have in their daily life. Sometimes people just don’t understand that we need our own space and try to tell us to be more outgoing. It’s not that we can’t talk or be sociable. We can when we’re with our dear people who acknowledge us for who we are, and they aren’t necessary inroverts either. My closest ones are extroverts, and we get along just fine. Everything it needs is understanding.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. pearlgirl says:

    “Also, the reason you’ve never seen me having fun is probably because I’m not comfortable enough around you to let loose.” I laughed at that one, SOO true!! Love the whole post and I very much relate.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. colorfulpeppy says:

    Definitely can relate esp to 1,4, and 6. Irritates me so much. Some people truly don’t understand. Like I’m quiet because I’m observing my situation. As well as I don’t know or this place to let loose hahaha.

    Liked by 1 person

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