On friendship

cute coupleToday, so much value is placed on having as many friends as possible. If you don’t have hundreds of Facebook friends or Twitter followers, you’re somehow lacking. Quantity is valued over quality. Having lots of connections is desirable. It hearkens back to wanting to be popular in middle/high school. It also seems to be very much part of the extrovert ideal.

I only have a few close friends. But the ones that I do have are supportive and warm. They know when I want to talk and they know when I need space. They’re accommodating and dependable. They don’t drain me when I spend time with them.  I love doing things with them. I’ve opened up to them and shared my insecurities and I’ve found acceptance in their eyes. I’m comfortable with them. I can be silly around them. They can make me laugh until my stomach hurts. They’ve seen my crazy side, they’ve seen my tears. They know my dreams and desires, my shortcomings and insecurities. They know when I need a hug. And I like to think that I do the same for them.

I enjoy spend time with other people too, but it always feel different. I can’t show them all of me, at least not yet. It takes a long time for me to trust someone enough to open up to them. I need to know they’re worthy of my trust.

I used to think that I needed to be friends with everyone. I wanted everyone to like me. But growing up, I realized that no matter what you do, not everyone is going to like you. And not everyone is going to be your friend. And I’m okay with that. That’s not to say that I’m not open to developing new friendships, because I always am. But at the same time, I’m not disappointed if things don’t work out. But when I call someone my friend, I really mean it.

What does friendship mean to you?

Image credit: “this is it” by lauren rushing is licensed under CC by 2.0
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7 thoughts on “On friendship

  1. twainwall says:

    Love this post. 🙂

    I guess trust is the biggest thing in the friendships I have. Like you I have a very small and select group of friends and trust is the most important thing.

    I am exactly the same – when I call someone a friend I truly mean it and put myself whole-heartedly into that friendship.
    Great post Ally. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. sevenyearsinadrawer says:

    I love this post. Been thinking about it alot since i first read it and now i wanted to read it again and comment. You perfectly articulate everything i think on this topic and said it so perfectly. The quality of relationships are critical, and for me, it is impossible to have quantity and maintain quality.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mm172001 says:

    Reblogged this on Marci, Mental Health, & More and commented:
    This is so me and right at the time when I needed a reminder.
    “I used to think that I needed to be friends with everyone. I wanted everyone to like me. But growing up, I realized that no matter what you do, not everyone is going to like you. And not everyone is going to be your friend.”

    Liked by 1 person

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