Advice

chattingI’ve gotten a lot of unsolicited advice from people throughout the years. One of the things I’ve probably been told the most is to, “be yourself”. Although often well-intentioned, this is an extremely vague statement. Yes, I do act differently around people, depending on my relationship to them. Yes, people might only see the part of me that I choose to share. But its still me. I’m not pretending to be someone else.

But I’ve also found some amazing advice that I’d love to share. One thing I really took to heart was to accept yourself for who you are. Accept that you have struggles and problems and issues. But also that you’re awesome, unique and have something amazing to share with the world. This is way easier said than done, and I usually fail at this terribly, but I think its worth thinking about. I know it’ll take me a long time to fully accept myself, but I know that I need to understand my weaknesses and strengths. Then I can work to overcome my weaknesses, and even if I fail, I can keep moving forward. I also need to realize that I have a lot of strengths to draw on when I need. And I need to treat my introversion as a strength.

Another great piece of advice is to be true to yourself. Don’t let others put negative labels on you. This could be your friends, family and co-workers that force their own ideas about who you are, onto you. Don’t force yourself to do things you aren’t comfortable with. Its good to stretch beyond your comfort zone at times, but it has to be on your own terms. Having someone pushing you into doing something is not positive. You have to want it yourself. And take time for yourself when you need it. Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ to a request or invitation if you don’t have the energy. I know that I often repeat this in my posts, but its someting I’m still working on. And I try remind myself of these things periodically so I can try to stay focused.

What advice would you give to yourself or others?

Image credit: “text’n’chat” by Niels Linneberg is licensed under CC by 2.0

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8 thoughts on “Advice

  1. twainwall says:

    Saying “No” is something I still have trouble with. It can be extremely difficult sometimes. Having said that, I am much better at it now, especially like you said, “learning to accept yourself” and who you are.
    I guess what helped me was gaining experience with like-minded people (introverts) and some of the experiences that they have had, also advice is good too; a friend told me that advice is there, you can choose whether to take it or not, no one can force you. Which is one of the best things I have ever been told. 🙂
    Nice post Ally, really thoughtful. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ally says:

      I totally agree, I’ve also found that getting to connect with other introverts and draw on their experiences has helped a lot, even if its just knowing that you’re not alone. I like what your friend said about how choosing to accept advice is up to you, so true 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Warrior Freya says:

    As cheesy as it is, “Believe in yourself.”

    A lot of times there’s self doubt in my choices and actions after a situation. I’m all for them at the time, and in the silence and solitude I begin to worry. I worry and fret until I receive some sort of feedback to let me know that things are ok. That I didn’t mess up or do something terribly, horribly wrong.

    If I could learn to skip that phase of worrying it would be nice. : )

    I think instead of saying, “be yourself”, we should start saying “be true to yourself”.

    Maybe it’s an INFJ thing, and my obsession with words, but I’m always myself. So being told to “be myself” is in a way insulting to me. It makes me feel like you think I’m lying, which is one of the fastest ways to get me to check out of the conversation.

    The ‘self’ you see depends on the comfort level I have with you. I view being told to be “true to myself” as an invitation to be more open. Things are safe, it’s ok to be a bit more relaxed, let more of my ‘self’ out from my turtle shell.

    It’s not as abrasive in my mind as “be yourself”.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ally says:

      I totally agree and I love cheesy quotes like “believe in yourself” 😉 I also love the way you have with words, everything you described had me nodding my head in agreement. Its so true, the more comfortable I am with someone, the more I open up, But I won’t do that with someone I don’t implicitly trust, and it takes time to get to that point.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. exanimo7 says:

    Saying “no” is a hard thing for me to do as well. I don’t like to disappoint people, so sometimes I end up agreeing to things that I really wasn’t interested in doing in the first place – but it’s easier than having to explain to a loved one why you don’t want to do said thing, especially if you really have no good reason for not wanting to do it. *sigh*
    ——————————————-
    “Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.” [Clark Moustakas]

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      Me too, I usually go along with whatever is being planned, even if I’d rather be at home instead. I love that quote, I think I’ll post it up on my wall at work 🙂

      Like

  4. pearlgirl says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I have many layers and I allow people in only as deep as our relationship goes. It also takes a lot for me to feel comfortable with people, so that means a lot of people only see the outside. Still me, just not all of me. I’ve also had people tell me to “be myself” and talk more, go out more, etc. Funny how some people have a specific definition that they expect everyone to fit into if they’re being genuine or “themselves.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      I agree, its ironic that they tell you to “be yourself” but then won’t accept you as such. I also have lots of layers, and as people gain my trust, they get to see more of me.

      Liked by 1 person

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