Unplanned activities

socializingWhen I was a little girl, my parents would often take our family on walks by the river. Most of the time, they would come up to me and tell me to get my jacket, because we were going for a walk. And I didn’t want to go. Once we got there, I was fine, but I didn’t like the unplanned nature of our trips. If they had given me warning, and told me that we were going in an hour, it would have given me the time needed to process the information and get excited.

Imagine my happiness when I learned that this is a pretty normal thing for an introvert.

I’m a very methodical person, I love having things planned out. Even when I have plans to spend time with people, but no schedule hashed out, I still have ideas of what we could do. And I always have a time frame in my mind. This past weekend, I went out with a couple of good friends. We were meeting up at noon, going to see a movie at 1 pm and hanging out for a bit longer if we all felt like it. In my mind, I was planning on what we could do after the movie, what things were nearby, and what time I wanted to head for home. I feel more comfortable when I know what’s going to happen, or what could happen. I like keeping my options open.

My extroverted roommate is the complete opposite. She’ll invite me to do things with her without giving me any warning. She’ll say things like, “hey I’m going to the gym right now, want to come?” or “want to grab a coffee?”. Typically I’ll already have planned out my schedule, and I’ll have to refuse. If she gives me a lot of warning, I’ll usually say yes. I have impulsively gone out for coffee with her, and really enjoyed it. I’ve also impulsively agreed to do things, and ended up completely exhausted. Now, I try to take my own vehicle when possible.

Growing up, I thought that something was wrong with me. Knowing that I was normal completely changed my perspective.

What are some of your experiences?

Image credit: “_DSC0341” by NR Acampamentos is licensed under CC by 2.0


8 thoughts on “Unplanned activities

  1. KDKH says:

    My parents didn’t do things with us. No planning required.😒 now, though, I’m the spontaneous one. But I also know to give my introverted kids 45 minutes or so advanced warning/invitation, so they can change plans or say no. They’re old enough I can leave them behind if they don’t want to go.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sarahstom says:

    Unplanned activities definitely stress me out. My mom will often ask if I want to go grocery shopping with her on a Saturday morning and I often say no because she wants to go right then and I need more time to decide. The hard part is she is an introvert as well, so has already planned on going at that specific time, so I throw her off by asking when.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      Ah, that can be so difficult. Anything unplanned always stresses me out, its like I need to wrap my head around what is going to happen, and I need time to do that. Thanks for your comment 🙂


  3. Warrior Freya says:

    I can handle unplanned events better than events changing.

    If everyone has agreed that things will happen a certain way, then my brain takes the penciled in plans and transfers them to granite. Sort of like the 10 commandments.

    In my head we are doing things this way and it would now be an unholy act to change plans. Sacrilege.

    “Obey the plan book, for it is what thine life is run by”, or something like that.

    It is super rough for me to align the change with the plans I had in my head. It’s even harder if the change affects the time frame for events later in the day, like a domino effect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally says:

      Changing plans is bad too. I’m the kind of person who always goes by the “plan book” and I’m more comfortable that way. Thanks for sharing, its nice to know I’m not alone 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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